Songs of Self Love
February is often considered a month of love. However it is not just a time for celebrating the love that is in a romantic relationship, but it is also about showing self-love and appreciating ourselves for who we are. Practicing self-love means that we are treating ourselves with the same kindness as we would with someone we love. Loving ourselves is not about being selfish. It means that we have a good understanding of our strengths and embrace our flaws.
Having self love is important to our overall well being. It lays the groundwork for being more assertive, establishing healthy boundaries, practicing self-care, and pursuing personal interests and goals. Some evidenced based benefits of self-love include: higher self-esteem, more motivation, stronger determination, increased self-awareness, less anxiety and better sleep. Yet as many of us know, practicing self love can be quite challenging. Perfectionism, guilt, self-criticism, fear of being judged, and internalized negativity are all types of barriers that can get in our way.
One way to practice more self love is by listening to songs that make us feel confident and empowered. “Lovely” by Sara Haze is one of my go to songs. You can listen to the song below.
One thing I like to do when listening to music is to think about who the singer is singing to. While “Lovely” could be about the singer addressing another person who made her feel like she was not enough or that she had to change who she was, I like to think of the song from the perspective of the singer addressing herself. With this perspective, the singer is addressing her own inner critic who has made her feel bad about herself in the past. For me personally, I struggle with the self-criticism barrier and catch myself comparing my traits and abilities to others. My inner critic voice puts added pressure to be a certain way in order to accomplish my desire to be the best that I can be.
These lines from the song showcase this experience:
“I know you want the best
Yeah, only good things for me
But you have to realize
I can't be all these things you project on me”
What a like about the song is that it replaces the hurtful self talk with more helpful self talk. There is a phrase that returns throughout the song to promote self-love and acceptance.
“'Cause I, I feel lovely
Just the way that I am, yeah
Yes, I, I feel lovely
The way that I am”
I particularly like these lyrics because being “lovely” is something that a person can feel both inside and out. Feeling “lovely” can also mean different things for different people and may also change its meaning for a particular person depending on the context.
Songs with helpful self-talk phrases and body-positive statements remind us to be more compassionate towards ourselves. What songs make you feel good about yourself and remind you of your worth? The beat and instrumentation can also enhance the song’s message and lead you to feeling more pumped up.
Once you start identifying your feel-good, self-love songs you can create a playlist that will be great to turn to when you need inspiration, kindness, or just a reminder of the amazing person that you are. One thing that can also be helpful is to take a favorite lyric from one of the songs and create some sort of visual with it. This helps to further remind you of positive self-talk phrases. You can write it down in the “notes” app on your phone, or you can write it on a post-it note or index card and place it somewhere you frequently look at. Take it a step further and also add some symbols, pictures, or doodles to go along with the lyric - or even turn the lyric into a collage or bigger piece of art!
My lyric card from the song “Lovely” by Sarah Haze
Be patient with yourself as you practice more self-love. The more you incorporate it into your daily life, the easier it will start to get! Even just starting small like giving yourself a compliment or identifying things you are grateful for can help move you in the right direction.
