Started Making It, Had A Breakdown… Bon Appétit
“Started making it, had a breakdown, Bon Appétit!” That was said by comedian James Acaster when he was on a celebrity version of The Great British Baking Show. In one of the challenges James had to make flapjacks and when he presented it to the judges.. it was still liquid. Needless to say, James was not the best baker of the bunch. James however, used his sense of humor and wittiness to make the best of the situation. Below is the clip of the flapjack challenge. The specific quote is at 1 min 13 sec.
James’ comment about his flapjacks perfectly describes my most recent baking endeavor, making pumpkin pie for Thanksgiving.
My baking activities often increase around the holidays, as it does for many others. I usually stick to cupcakes, Christmas cutout cookies, and classic chocolate chip cookies. This year I decided to take on pumpkin pie without the supervision of my mom.
Cupcakes I made for a family member’s birthday
Every Thanksgiving at my parent’s house I enjoy eating pumpkin pie, a pie that is only made once a year in my family. When I was younger and living at home, I always helped my mom make the apple and pumpkin pies. As I got older, she gave me more responsibilities with the pies. Eventually I was making the handmade crust mostly by myself (my mom was always nearby in case I had questions). After I no longer lived at home and was married, helping my mom make the pies got a little challenging due to timing. For the last few years my mom has had to make the pies without me, or I have joined for the last step, making the filling and putting the pies in the oven.
Pumpkin pie made with my mom
This year I was determined to make the pie from start to finish, but the only way I was going to get to do that was if I made the pie without my mom at my own house. I felt a little hesitant about making homemade pie crust completely without her for the first time, but I was ready for the challenge. Making pumpkin pie was something I always enjoyed doing and I wanted to prove I could do it on my own.
The day before Thanksgiving I began making the pie. I meticulously followed the directions and even consulted the episode about pie crust on Good Eats. When I got to the step of forming the dough disk before chilling, it looked like it was starting to come together but was still a little crumbly (which the recipe and Alton Brown said was right). I let it chill for the appropriate amount of time and when I took it out of the refrigerator… it was not right. It was still way too crumbly. I tried adding some more water and reformed the disk, then put it back in the fridge to chill. I waited 40 minutes more.. and it still wasn’t right. I tried rolling it out anyway. Still too crumbly. I added more water. It still did not feel right. I began tearing up. At this point my husband tried to revive my dough, yet the butter had melted too much from all of the handling. That’s when my husband said “I think you need to throw it away and start again.” Cue the breakdown. How could I have messed this up? I followed all of the directions. I don’t have time to make it all again. I’ll just go buy a premade crust. Then the negative self-talk came in: I’m not a good baker. I’m so annoyed with myself. How will I ever make a full Thanksgiving meal one day if I can’t even make pie crust? I failed.
My husband says to me: “Baking is supposed to be fun. You shouldn’t do it if it’s not fun.” That hit me. Baking normally is fun, but because of the pressure I put on myself, it stopped being fun. My husband lets me have one more moment of my breakdown and then calmly pushes me to start the dough again. “We have time” he says, “Let’s start it now. What do we need to do?”
He snaps me back into baking mode. I can do this. I wipe away the tears. I give him some tasks, and we swiftly start baking. Things get done quicker, and before I know it, the dough is chilling. This time I add a lot more water than the recipe recommended to get the dough to be stickier, and I decide to do one big dough disk instead of separating it into two. Nothing to do now but wait. I busy myself with other tasks, releasing my control over the dough. When it’s time to roll the dough out, it feels right and looks right. It rolls out much easier and fills the pie pan. Fast forward to Thanksgiving, the pie is delicious. The crust is flaky, no soggy bottom. I’m proud of my work.
Remembering James Acaster’s experience on The Great British Baking Show led me to reflect on my own baking experiences, particularly with this pumpkin pie battle. I have come to realize how baking for fun teaches several life lessons while fostering creativity, and I would like to share with you my discoveries.
Failure and Resiliency
This is probably the biggest lesson I learned from making pumpkin pie. Baking teaches you that it is ok to make mistakes. By facing challenges and failing, you learn how to problem solve, recover from the screw up, and figure out what to do differently the next time. This builds our resiliency to handle stressful and frustrating situations. We learn to have persistence and determination - and to not be so hard on ourselves! Even the most experienced bakers deal with difficulties and troubles in their bakes. Before the meal had started I told my mom about the breakdown over the pie crust. She confided in me that she was worried her apple galette would not turn out right due to there being a hole in the crust during baking, causing some filling to spill out. If she had not told me, I would have never known about the hole because her galette was great in my opinion!
Connection To Others
While baking can be meaningful to do alone, it is also an activity that is easily shared and enjoyed with others. Looking back, I think the main reason I had so much fun making pumpkin pie was because I always did it with my mom. Once my husband joined, I immediately felt more relaxed and started smiling again because I was creating something with him. Baking is a means of communication. It can be a way to communicate our own ideas, or to bring people together through celebrations and hardships.
It’s Ok To Ask For Help
Sometimes we think that asking for help shows signs of weakness or lack of intelligence. I thought that successfully making a pumpkin pie meant I had to do it completely alone, but I got to the point where I needed assistance. When I tried the pumpkin pie crust again, giving my husband tasks to do while I worked on other parts of the recipe, I was surprised by how fast we made the crust and I could bounce ideas off of him.
Let Go Of Control
I’m a planner. I have personally had to work on accepting the unknown and accepting when I have to wait on others to do their part. Baking teaches us to let go of control. Things are going to get messy no matter how much you plan. Whenever I make cupcakes, powder and icing is usually all over the kitchen no matter how careful I am with the mixer. Once the bake is in the oven, there is nothing more you can do but wait. We must be patient. Baking also teaches us that it is not the end of the world if the bake does not turn out exactly as we hoped. Humour, compassion, and acceptance is key when things do not work out.
A sparkly mess I got into with cupcakes
Structure and Flexibility
Baking allows us to experience a balance of having structure (using a recipe, measuring out ingredients) while also being flexible (adapting, trying out new things, and using our imagination when it comes to decorating). You may feel that in your work environment you do not ever get to “make” anything. When we bake we are essentially making something that was not there before.
Mindfulness
Baking supports mindfulness, which research has shown to decrease stress, improve our mood, and enhance creativity. When we bake we utilize multiple senses: sight, touch, taste, smell. We can get into a focused rhythm when working with the materials, such as when kneading dough. There is something satisfying about getting our hands dirty and focusing on the texture and temperature of our material. Certain smells that we focus on while baking also may bring back positive memories and images.
Baking Enhances Creativity
Baking is an art form. All baked goods start from the same ingredients just like various songs use the same chord progressions but are interpreted and utilized differently between songwriters. Texture, flavor, and visual appeal are all taken into consideration along with the science behind the bake. Baking is an opportunity to experiment and to express ourselves, whether it is through creating/alternating a recipe or just exploring ways to decorate.
Christmas cookies I had fun decorating one year
Baking can also lead to inspiration and idea generating. There might be certain parts of baking that are more mindless, and this can lead to a free flow of ideas.
Baked goods can inspire, soothe, and rejuvenate us. Each person’s experience with baking looks different, so it is up to you to decide what you take away from baking. If you have not done much baking, I encourage you to try it, even if it is just using a cake mix from a box. You may find that baking is not only fun, relaxing, and taps into your creativity, but teaches you skills that you can apply elsewhere in your life.
