Gratitude through glimmers
The holiday season is now upon us, which is often thought of as a time to focus on what we are thankful and grateful for. One of my favorite songs about being thankful is Raffi’s sweet tune “Thanks A Lot.” In this song, Raffi comments on several simple things he is grateful for that we might take for granted, such as the land we have and the sun in the the sky
You can listen to Raffi’s song below.
While giving thanks and identifying what we are grateful for during the holidays is meaningful and can bring us closer together, it is important to practice gratitude year round. Psychologist Robert A. Emmons was one of the first to research how people benefit from gratitude. Findings from his study in 2003 suggested that gratitude may improve psychological well-being. But what exactly is gratitude? The word gratitude comes from the Latin word gratia, which means grace, graciousness, or gratefulness. Gratitude is a sense of appreciation for what we have and receive, whether it is tangible or intangible. It is a positive emotion that arises when we acknowledge that we have goodness in our life. In the process of acknowledgement, people usually recognize that the source of the goodness lies partially outside themselves. Due to this, being grateful helps people connect to something larger than themselves as individuals — whether to other people, nature, or a higher power. Gratitude helps us to refocus on what we have instead of what we lack or feel unsatisfied by in life.
A growing body of research has continued to find that expressing gratitude can have a positive impact on our emotional health. These studies have found an association between gratitude and improved sleep, decreased stress, decreased physical pain, decreased depression, increased sense of well-being, increased self-esteem, improved satisfaction of daily life, and strengthened interpersonal and romantic relationships. Gratitude can be used as a coping strategy for unwanted/unsettling emotions. When we start to engage with negative thinking, such as becoming worried and focused on events that happened in the past or will happen in the future, practicing gratitude can break the negative thought process and help us return to the present moment. Practicing gratitude can help calm our nervous system down, combatting fight and flight responses. Taking a moment to be grateful can initiate the parasympathetic system, leading to a decrease in blood pressure and lower heart and breathing rates.
Gratitude can be expressed and felt in multiple ways. Gratitude can be applied to the past (retrieving positive memories, being thankful for parts of childhood), the present (not taking current good fortunes for granted), and the future (having a hopeful and optimistic attitude). While the amount of time practicing gratitude varies across studies, most experts agree that practicing gratitude for even just small amounts on a daily basis can be beneficial.
One way to cultivate gratitude is by noticing “glimmers.” Glimmers are tiny moments that spark joy, happiness, relaxation, or ease. Glimmers are thought to be the opposite of “triggers,” stimuli that lead the brain and body to be on high alert, causing uncomfortable physical and emotional symptoms. The concept of glimmers is part of Polyvagal theory which was first introduced by behavioral neuroscientist Stephen Porges in 1995. The theory describes how our autonomic nervous system (which controls involuntary actions like breathing and our heart rate) searches for and reads cues to determine if they are dangerous. This process is called neuroception. The vagus nerve, which was discussed in my previous blog, is responsible for neuroception. The term “glimmers' was first coined in 2018 by Deb Dana, a licensed clinical social worker who specializes in complex trauma, in her book The Polyvagal Theory in Therapy: Engaging the Rhythm of Regulation. Dana refers to glimmers as “small moments when our biology is in a place of connection or regulation, which cues our nervous system to feel safe or calm.” The term was then popularized by a viral TikTok video in February 2022 by psychologist Dr. Justine Grosso.
Dana first used the concept of glimmers to help those who have experienced trauma start to recognize that their bodies are also capable of noticing micro moments of goodness. Our brains have a natural tendency to look for “the bad” and those who have experienced trauma are more prone to be frequently looking out for danger. However, noticing glimmers are not just for those who have trauma, it is a practice that can benefit everyone. By recognizing and appreciating small, positive moments over and over, we can begin to shift our mindset and perspective, decreasing emotional distress. Dana states “What we've discovered is as you begin to see a glimmer, you begin to look for more… It's just what we do... and we then delight in finding them. That's your nervous system beginning to shape toward the patterns of connection that are inherently waiting in there to be deepened and brought alive.”
Sometimes it can be difficult to reap the benefits of gratitude when we are reflecting on past events. I’ve personally noticed that at times when I’m engaging in a gratitude practice and I’m reflecting back on things I’m grateful for, the experiences tend to be the same ones I previously reflected on, and I do not always experience a greater sense of calmness or happiness. Glimmers are a way for us to connect with our present environment - the appreciation we experience is immediate. Glimmers allow us to recognize how our body feels peaceful and secure in the moment. Glimmers often go unnoticed so in order to see them we have to tune in and pay attention to our surroundings. By acknowledging a small moment of goodness, we activate our ventral vagal state, cueing the parasympathetic nervous system.
Glimmers can vary from person to person. Below is a list of examples of glimmers I have personally noticed recently.
The feeling of a blanket on my lap
Seeing a small salamander scurry into a hole in the wall
The smell of freshly baked bread coming through a neighbor’s window
Hearing bell chimes from a chapel
Finding a small piece of clear sea glass
Feeling a cool breeze on my neck
Noticing how nice and rounded my fingernails have grown
Experiencing a new pringles chip flavor, paprika
The smell of my pumpkin iced coffee
The crunch of a crisp leaf under my foot
My cat’s rumbling purr
A snail - I had never seen one that looked like this before! (Picture below)
Glimmers can happen at any time and can be found in different places and with different senses. You may have not noticed any glimmers happening before reading this, and that is ok! Everyone can notice glimmers, it just requires you to train yourself to check and notice feelings of joy, happiness, calmness, and peace when experiencing different stimuli. In order to find more glimmers, use your different senses to start to look for your unique glimmers all around you. Notice pleasant smells, which things you touch bring comfort, and sounds that bring you delight. Notice things you see that are familiar and bring happiness, and new and intriguing things you see that bring joy and curiosity. Perhaps the things you see are animals, colors, interesting patterns and textures, or unique moments in nature.
Once you start putting in the effort to notice a few glimmers here and there, the practice will become easier and you may begin to notice glimmers more frequently. You can start with having a goal of noticing just one glimmer a day and see where that takes you. You can also schedule times to take “awe walks.” An “awe walk” is a walk taken with the mindset that you are discovering new things, allowing yourself to access your inner child's sense of curiosity and delight. Awe walks can be taken by yourself, or with others. They can be taken at places you engage with easily in your everyday life (ex. a park in your neighborhood, a different part of your city, a store) or it can be at a place that takes more planning to get to (ex. the zoo, a museum, forest trail, mountain).
Remembering and reflecting on the different glimmers you experienced throughout the day can also be helpful, particularly during moments when you are experiencing unsettling emotions and need to take a step back to focus on the good. Below are some ideas on ways to reflect/remember glimmers.
Journal about the glimmers you experienced
Create a glimmers list that you post in your office, kitchen, bedroom or keep on your phone
Take pictures of the glimmers and create a photo album
Create a collage using words, pictures, and drawings to represent the glimmers
Implement a practice at the end of the day in which you share your glimmers with another person, or name them in your head
Write a poem or song about a specific glimmer
We live in a fast paced world where we frequently multi-task and get stuck thinking about the future or past events. Personally, I have had to work on not dwelling on the unknowns in life or things I cannot change. I began noticing glimmers before I knew there was a term for them. I can confidently say that noticing glimmers has made a difference in my daily life. By allowing myself to be open to unexpected moments of awe and joy, I can find comfort and appreciation no matter how my day is going. I encourage you to start incorporating a glimmer practice, whatever that looks like to you. I encourage you to appreciate the simplicity of life and to start noticing the joy in moments that might seem ordinary. Be open to experiencing small moments of pleasure and awe. Just simply acknowledging these moments and appreciating them for what they are is enough.
Sources:
https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2003-01140-012
https://www.nytimes.com/2023/06/08/well/mind/gratitude-health-benefits.html
https://www.uclahealth.org/news/health-benefits-gratitude
https://www.health.harvard.edu/healthbeat/giving-thanks-can-make-you-happier
https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-a-glimmer-5323168
https://www.realsimple.com/what-are-glimmers-7975972
https://www.mindbodygreen.com/articles/benefits-of-awe-walks
